Happy Thursday. Welcome to The Chaos Coordinator. We are Brain Candy's snarky little sister, delivering the top stories and latest creative trends in Business, AI and B2B Marketing right to your inbox, with a hefty dose of irreverence.
In this issue, we dive into:
Tariffs x Private Equity
BofA x AI
Paid Media x Influencers
WTFTF
LinkedIn Algorithm
What's happening in.....
The Business of Business
Private Equity Got All Dressed Up...
Then tariffs canceled the party.
Private equity rolled into 2025 cautiously optimistic. The vibe was: “We survived 2024, let’s make some deals.” Then Trump re-dropped tariffs like a surprise album, and just like that, the mood turned from M&A season to macro anxiety hour. KKR called the move “far more aggressive” than expected, which is one step above “oh no.” Apollo’s chief economist warned that prolonged tariffs could trigger a global recession, which is economist code for “duck and cover.” Deals are stalling, IPOs are on mute, and even the big-name alt shops—Blackstone, Carlyle, Ares—are bleeding double-digit stock losses.
And yet, while the primary market is stress baking, the secondaries are shopping. Hard. Sarasin Bread Street’s James Witter noted that “the runway for secondary players is extending again,” which is great news if you’re into discounted portfolios and mildly distressed assets. So here we are: fundraising is hard, exits are harder, and everything feels just a little too 2019 again. Long story short: Q1 was the comeback tour. Q2 is the plot twist.
Bank of America just gave AI $4 billion and a keycard.
Bank of America just pledged a cool $4 billion for AI and tech upgrades in 2025, which is basically like giving its chatbot a corporate Amex. That’s nearly a third of its tech budget, and no, this isn’t just another ChatGPT side hustle. Since debuting Erica back in 2018 (aka the AI Stone Age), BofA has quietly built a robo-empire. The internal version, “Erica for Employees,” now has a 90% adoption rate and has slashed IT calls by half. Meanwhile, devs are coding faster, client decks are auto-magically appearing, and customer service reps are getting AI-generated pep talks and call summaries.
Even the bank’s training program went full simulator: over a million fake client interactions in 2024. Somewhere, a whole generation of role-play facilitators just lost their gigs. With more than 1,200 AI-related patents in its back pocket, BofA isn’t just playing catch-up, it’s building Skynet: Finance Edition. CTO Aditya Bhasin says AI is boosting “employee efficiency and operational excellence.” Translation? The robots are crushing it, and Erica just might be up for a promotion.
That Genuine Moment Brought To You By 4 Rounds of Client Feedback
And one very tired copywriter.
Once upon a time, influencer marketing was the Wild West of authenticity, unpolished, personal, and (allegedly) organic. Now? It’s a fully optimized arm of paid media, complete with targeting strategies and KPIs that would make your SEM manager blush. Brands aren’t just partnering with creators, they’re boosting their posts like they’re ad units. Because they are. As reach continues to shrink and algorithms tighten their grip, “organic” influencer content has become more of a vibe than a viable strategy. If a creator’s post lands on the feed without paid amplification, did it even make a ripple?
This shift doesn’t mean the end of authenticity, it just means authenticity now comes with a budget line and brand safety guidelines. The most effective influencer content today is manufactured spontaneity: still breezy, still aspirational, just… lightly filtered through a media plan. What we’re seeing is influencer marketing maturing into its final form: part brand ambassador, part content studio, part performance ad. And honestly? That “just vibing with my morning matcha” post was probably A/B tested six ways before it hit your feed.
A refreshingly chill take on global meltdown, minus the screaming charts.
As the VIX blasts past 50, the Magnificent Seven lose their shine, and global markets collectively faceplant, TreasurySpring decided not to hit the panic button. Instead, they sent out a newsletter called Keep Calm and Consider the Risks, part of their ongoing “WTFTF nibble” series, which sounds like financial advice you get at a dinner party you can’t afford to be at.
The note breaks down the drama—tariffs, tanking stocks, even gold crying in the corner—with the tone of someone who’s been through worse and still made their 8 a.m. Pilates class. “Stay calm, consider your risk appetite, and place your cash accordingly,” they say, like a therapist with a Bloomberg terminal and zero time for drama. In a world where most financial comms feel like either a sedative or a fire alarm, this was a rare gem: dry, smart, and just the right amount of snark. Basically, if market commentary had a favorite drink, this would be a lukewarm gin and tonic, served neat, with judgment.
At RG, we like our news served with a side of sarcasm, even when about market freefall. We’re always on the lookout for takes that cut through the noise. TreasurySpring’s tone? Right in the sweet spot.
It no longer tolerates “Like this if you agree” energy.
RG's Digital Strategy team is sharing insights on LinkedIn’s latest algorithm shift. The platform has gone full “no more small talk,” prioritizing thoughtful, engaging content over anything that smells remotely like a corporate memo. If your brand’s posts are still serving safe, SEO-optimized nothingburgers, the algorithm is actively ignoring you.
Since the update, organic reach is down 15%, engagement’s off by 12%, and personal profiles (especially in Creator Mode) are now outperforming company pages by a mile. Why? Because LinkedIn’s new AI-powered feed favors actual conversations, not announcements dressed up as insights.
It’s time to ditch the megaphone and pick up the mic. Write like a person, ask smart questions, reply like you’re not on autopilot. And yes, a little paid amplification wouldn’t hurt either. The brands thriving right now are the ones willing to sound human, take a stance, and show up in the comments section. Everyone else? They’re just background noise in a feed that’s moved on.